The Struggles of Texting for Gen X: Bridging the Communication Gap

Why Texting Feels Like the Worst

Brian Keith Shrewsbury

By Brian Keith Shrewsbury (A Gen X 56 year old)

     For many who grew up in the 1980s, texting can often feel more like a chore or a frustration than helpful communication. While technology has changed the way we connect, it hasn’t always made things easier—especially for those of us who value a more personal touch. Here’s why texting just doesn’t work for a lot of Gen X’ers:

Why Texting Often Falls Short

Raised on Real-Time Conversation:

     In the 80s, communication meant face-to-face talks or phone calls. You relied on tone and body language—none of which come through in a text.

No Caller ID, No Screening Calls:

     Back then, we had a corded phone on the wall. When it rang, you answered—no idea who it was, no caller ID. Talking to people, even unexpectedly, was just part of daily life. No favorites list, no other means of communication like the 25 odd ways to do it now, and I get no communication still.

People Say They Don’t Want to Be Tied to Their Phone Now:

     Ironically, people today often say they don’t want to be interrupted by calls or texts, or claim they “don’t have time.” But we always found a way to answer the phone in the 80s—even when it wasn’t convenient. When the phone rang you went running to answer it. Sometimes you were on it for a while because you couldn't find a way to break the conversation.

Missed Calls Were a Bigger Deal:

     If you couldn’t get hold of someone, there were no answering machines until the late 80s or early 90s. If you needed them urgently, you had to drive to their house, and hope they were home. You knew they were there if their car was parked there, or the kids bikes were in the yard. You didn't have location services like now to track people down.

No Instant Gratification:

     Waiting was the norm; you might leave a message with a family member or just keep calling back. There was usually a pad of paper by the phone you jotted things down on. There was no endless checking of phones or instant responses, you asked your family if someone called and looked for a written message. This leads our generation to have an expectation that the text will be answered fast, but then it isn't, then we feel like we are purposefully being left out.

Texts Today Can Be Ignored or Lost:

     Now, texts may go unanswered for hours (or ever), leaving you wondering if you’re being ignored or if the message even went through. You even question yourself if you sent it. Maybe the WIF was out, or I was in a bad location.

Brief, Confusing Replies:

     Sometimes, you finally get a reply—but it’s short or unclear, and, without context (which can be even harder to remember with age), it just leads to more confusion. Especially when you get a SMH, LMAO, or LOL, TEE HEE, WTH.

Easily Misinterpreted:

     With no tone or facial cues, texting makes it easy for words to come across as rude, cold, or dismissive—even when they aren’t meant that way. The more you communicate back and forth asking if you are angry or something is wrong the more the conversation accelerates and goes the wrong direction. Worse is when people then block you altogether.

Less Personal Connection:

     Texting feels functional and impersonal, especially for serious or meaningful conversations. I want to know how you may feel, or if there is a solution, but the message and meaning gets confused and feelings get hurt.

The Bottom Line

     Even though technology has made us more connected, Gen X’ers know first-hand that it hasn’t necessarily made conversations any better. If texts feel unsatisfying, confusing, or isolating, you’re not alone. After all, we managed just fine—sometimes even better—when a phone on the wall, some patience, and a knock at the door were all it took.